There’s an ayah from Surah Al-Hadid that I love so much. Allah the Most High says that no hardship or difficulty comes upon you except that it’s been decreed for you. But why does that matter? “So that you neither grieve over what you have missed nor boast over what He has granted you…” (Ayah 23) Ah, doesn’t that just sum up life? Some parts of it can be so beautiful, so beautiful that it fills your heart with overwhelming joy and yet other parts can feel heavy, like you’re still behind. Yet, neither situations should alter the purity of your heart.

1) Inward Energy Is Where It Begins

Of all the feminine women I know, there’s one quality they all deeply embody. It’s the drawing of your energy towards your own heart. This desire to hide away from the noise of the world. It’s the woman who’s not looking for attention on herself. It’s the woman who wants to stay out of the limelight – letting her creativity and passions speak for themselves. The woman who lives for herself in a loving, soft way.  

When you take your focus within, it allows you to show up beautifully where Allah has placed you today. It’s an energy of not being distracted by external noise. It’s when you’re no longer entertained by short term dopamine hits like gossiping, following influencers and shopping thrills.

Give back your heart to itself. Take your energy out of places that drain you. Letting go of thoughts that weaken your iman.  Retreating back to the thoughts, feelings and practices that nurture your soul and lift your vibration.

What makes you feel at home within yourself?  

When was the last time you truly surrendered to Allah?  Where every part of your being submitted to Allah?

2) Your Masculine Energy Is Key

Feminine energy is like the delicate petals on a flower. It’s the colour, smell, beauty, freshness…it radiates joy and attracts the bees. Masculine energy is like the root that allows it to grow. It’s the stem, soil, sunshine, nutrients that allows it to flourish.

You need both.

Too much feminine energy without being anchored in your heart, without strengthening your trust in Allah above everything else will leave you feeling at the mercy of life. Yet, your emotions are not at the mercy of others. How you feel is not 100% dependent on your circumstance. How long you carry an emotion is not dependent on your past trauma.

Connecting to your inner masculine energy will allow you to feel safe, loved and whole once again. It’s reassuring that little girl within you that Allah is with her. That love, abundance and safety comes from Him. And you get to feel that now by reassuring and reparenting that little girl within. Your soul knows that deep down, you don’t have to wait on people or external outcomes to feel loved and abundant. Masculine energy holds you, it gives you reassurance and certainty. You can never miss out on what’s meant for you. Life can never go wrong when you know that Allah has decreed this for you and good things will always be coming.

Certainty in your duas, holding the vision (masculine energy) but softness, surrender and receptiveness along the way (feminine energy). Tapping into your masculine energy will allow you to feel hopeful, to see beyond the moment, to not zoom in and obsess over the how or when. In essence, to lead yourself in love and success.

3) Let Go Of Overthinking

Overthinking weakens your iman and lowers your vibration. Overthinking is a sneaky trick from your ego. Here’s the thing – the more inner work you do, the sneakier your ego gets.

When you’re overthinking, you can’t be present in your heart and that separation disconnects you from your feminine energy. Through obsessive, heavy thoughts of fear and lack, you begin to unconsciously chase after your duas. The race begins and the further it gets. It’s the flutter in your heart but not in a good way. It’s the complete opposite of trusting Allah.

Sometimes you’re too close to the issue, to see it for what it is. Your heart might be too emotionally invested to see beyond the setbacks. This is where speaking to a trusted friend or speaking to a life coach/ therapist can be so helpful. A powerful conversation or an intense journal dump can help untangle your thoughts. But it’s a daily practice of noticing when you’re thoughts are in overdrive and intentionally coming back into the present moment, coming back into your body. It’s not very exciting stuff but it works.

When you come into the present moment (i.e. you’ve stopped overthinking):

1) Soothe your emotions. Overthinking tends to happen when you feel out of control. Take this moment to soothe your heart – feel the pain in your body. Locate the fear in your body and allow yourself to feel and express it.

2) Feel into safety and trust. Overthinking happens when you’ve disconnected from the truth. The truth that Allah is here with you. The truth that Allah will provide for you. The truth that Allah has a divine plan for you. The truth that your faith in Allah will do what your actions alone could not.

4) Pursue Your Feminine Heart

You’re not aimlessly wondering and going with the flow to nowhere.

Yes, your emotions may come and go in waves. You may not be able to control how you feel but you can still tend to your heart and lead it with care. The masculine pursues the feminine and the feminine pursues herself.

Trusting Allah and embodying your feminine energy is not passive. It’s not wondering around aimlessly, hoping that one day it falls into your lap. It’s intentionally creating your dream life within your inner world and externally as you feel called to. It’s creating the conditions for the miracle to occur. It’s pursuing your heart, becoming your own muse. Becoming that girl because you want to be her. It’s living with the certainty that Allah will bring it to you whilst living your most radiant life here.

Live with a sense of awe and joy. A sense of immense gratitude to Allah. Pursuing your heart, getting out of your comfort zone and following your curiosity. Just because your dream dua isn’t here yet, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It doesn’t mean your life is on pause until it comes. Your heart belongs to you before anyone else. Your appetite for life and self-worth is not dependant on what you have or don’t have.

What are you going to pour your heart into today? Even if you can’t see the bigger picture yet, you’re never wondering aimlessly.

5) Commitment Begins With Yourself

Part of feeling whole again is committing to the inner work for your heart alone. Care about how you feel. So much so that how you feel and your inner world begins to matter more than seeing results. When you heal for yourself, you surrender the outcome to Allah. In surrendering to Allah, you truly let go of any attachment to this life.

Which means:

– You’re not looking to see if it’s here yet

– You’re not looking to see if it’s working

– You’re not looking for an outcome

– You’re not wondering aimlessly either

Your duas and tahajjud prayers are not a transaction. It’s not a bargain between you and Allah. Yes, the duas will come but that is not your dominant focus. The outcome will come when you’re in alignment with it instead of obsessing over it. When you’re not waiting around for it because your heart is in certainty that Allah will provide for you. There is no feeling of lack or delays when you trust and surrender to Allah.

Healing for yourself means you don’t let yourself go when the going gets tough. It’s showing up for yourself even when your heart feels numb. Upholding your boundaries from a soft place even when you question it’s benefit. It’s not letting fear get the better of you.

Can you surrender to Allah even if you don’t see a way out?

6) Stay In The Present Moment

For your feminine energy, being present is key. It’s everything.

After all the beautiful duas you make and the wounds you heal, at one point you have to surrender to Allah and live your happiest life here. With a heart full of gratitude and awe for the life in front of you. Your life isn’t on hold until you receive your dream duas. Don’t let the one thing you don’t have make you forget all the blessings that surround you.

Get out of your head. Feel into your body (to process your emotions) and live in the present moment. Your feminine energy flourishes in the present moment. It’s those moments of joy where you couldn’t predict or control it, but it comes. The ways in which your heart unexpectedly opens, the surprises in which Allah provides for you. The way you learn to trust yourself in the unknown. Being in the present moment will heal your heart.

7) Romanticise Every Part Of Your Life

When you’ve been feeling stuck for a while, it’s almost like the beauty of life disappears. If you’re not careful, the lack mentality can really take over. This is where romanticising your life can be a powerful tool to getting back to your heart.

Think of life through the eyes of child. Everything lights them up. They have so much to say (almost too much!) about the most basic of things. They have so much emotion to the simplest of experiences. Everything is a gateway to having more fun. Everything is colourful and in the moment.

Let life surprise you. Let the beauty of this life move you. Romanticising your life is cherishing those moments, giving positive meaning to perhaps where there isn’t any. You could grab a coffee for yourself or you could put yourself together, touch up a little, appreciate the weather, appreciate this moment to yourself whilst sipping on your favourite oat milk latte that you got to choose. See the difference?

I know this can sound a bit silly. Sure, not every little part of your life needs to be romanticised. But what better option do you have? To feel dread at the everyday mundane tasks? Even if all your duas and desires where granted today, you would still be living your everyday life. So why not bring your heart and intention into it? Why not make it matter?  Let this experience come to you – you don’t have to force it. When your heart begins to soften, the joy will find you.

I never want you to forget how beautiful this life can be. As believers, it also means this life is a huge test from Allah. That means you’ll be tested again and again and again. Which means you also have it in you to come back to your heart again and again. To come back to Allah for as long as it takes.

P.s. If you’d like further 1-1 support to heal your heart, release the blocks that are holding you back to become the woman who can receive and sustain her deepest duas and desires, book in a free 20 minute call here xx