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Productivity

5 Ways To Stop Fear Ruining Your Life

November 30, 2015

‘You’re not pretty enough’

‘You’re not skinny enough’

‘You don’t have enough money’

‘Even if you write an ebook – nobody will buy it, who do you think you are?’

‘Your never going to have a heart-fuelled business, it’s just not possible’

‘You can’t make money following your passion, go and get a real job!’

Fear. Fear. Fear. Meet my mean girl. Each and every one us beautiful women, have an inner mean girl (ego) constantly trying to sabotage our happiness and success. You might recognize her by the awful things she says to you (i.e. ‘Your never going to find a good man, they just don’t exist these days’) or the panic she brings up right before an important moment.

It absolutely broke. my. heart. to see a readers comment earlier this week. She said something like ‘because of what my mum went through, I’m scared that my husband will cheat on me’. When I read that I could feel my heart sinking as though it was being savagely stumped upon and shattered into pieces. The mental prison of fear that we unknowingly lock ourselves in, is truly horrific. We would never in a million years say those things to our friends and families, but we blissfully say the same things to ourselves. What’s worse is that we actually BELIEVE those fear based thoughts.

Would you ever call your child ‘fat, ugly or a failure?’ Never, right? Yet, I bet you’ve called yourself that before. Correct me if I’m wrong 😉 Every time your mean girl comes knocking on your door – you have a choice. You can either entertain those thoughts, dig yourself into misery or gently close the door on her. With this in my mind, I’ve laid out 5 ways to stop fear from ruining your life.

Look darling, you deserve an INCREDIBLE, mind blowing, happy-fuelled, soul-driven life, relationships, health, work etc. But that won’t manifest until you break free from those negative thoughts (that we all experience). So let’s get straight to it:

1.Choose love:

Your mean girl (ego) flourishes on fear. She feeds on fear. Every thought or action you experience, ask yourself ‘Is this coming from a place of love or fear?’ If the thought is coming from fear, flip it around.

For example: You may believe that your confidence sucks and you’re terrible at speaking to new people. Challenge that thought and flip it around. Are you confident with your best friend, sister or kids? I bet you are! 😉 Recall moments to prove that thought wrong and flip it around darling. Tell yourself that you’re funny and entertaining to people. Believe that you are worthy of being a confident, beautiful woman. Because that is where it begins. Any permanent change that happens in your life, always begins with a shift in your mind.

Love over fear. The choice is yours my love.

5fearquote2. Turn down the volume:

All feelings emanate from thoughts. Thoughts like ‘Your never going to get over him’ or ‘She was all I had, how am I going to manage without my mother?’ is doomed to keep you in the cycle of suffering and endless pain. It takes GUTS, I mean crazy amounts of courage to break that cycle. Practise turning down the volume of your mean girl. Gently, day by day quieten down that voice inside of you.

3. Be in present moment:

Your mean girl can’t exist in the present moment. Only when you leave your heart and tune into your head by worrying over the future or regretting relentlessly over the past, that’s when your mean girl pops up. Any time you engage in a mind war, gently close the door and come back into the moment before you. Remember your mean girl can’t exist in the present moment.

4. Trust that Allah is supporting you:

Allah the Most High says:

‘… Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him…’

(Surah Talaq, Ayah 7)

‘As for those who believe and do good deeds – We never burden a soul with more than it can bear – they are worthy of Paradise, wherein they will live forever.’

(Surah A’raf, Ayah 42)

‘Allah does not burden any human being with more than he can bear. Everyone will enjoy the credit of his deeds and suffer the debits of his evil-doings.’

(Surah Baqarah, Ayah 286)

‘…We do not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear; and when you voice an opinion, be just, even though it be [against] one near of kin. And [always] observe your bond with Allah…’

(Surah An’am, Ayah 152)

Every hardship you face, you have an equal force of support and comfort coming from Allah.  For that reason, don’t drown in your fears. When you experience hardship and your mean girl is on volume 10, don’t give in. Don’t dig yourself a hole of misery and lament. Don’t close off your doors and sulk in bed. You have it within you to break free from those thoughts and achieve your hearts desire.

5. Engage in abundant durood:

Recently I gave my first public speech and let me tell you I was terrified!!! So much that my insides were shaking out of fear and I vividly remember feeling the urge to burst into uncontrollable tears. I wanted to hide under a rock and cry! Despite attempting to back-out twice, I did eventually go for it. When I spoke to my friends and teachers for solace, they all advised me to recite plenty of durood. It helped me immensely in calming my nerves and not feeling the fear.

So these are my 5 ways to stop fear ruining your life. Let me tell you – we ALL experience fear. Fear of poverty, marital affairs, being childless, old age, obesity, disapproval of others etc. But we have a choice. A choice to feel merciless at our mean girl chatter or to gently close the door on her.  A choice to leave the shackles of your mind and live from your heart. A choice to live your wildest dreams or remain imprisoned by your mind.

So darling, what choice are you making?

P.s. If you benefited from this article, take a look at the following similar posts:

  • Love Over Fear
  • Self-Love – Why You Need It & How To Get It?
  • How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
  • The Power Of Visioning



28 Comments

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Comments

  1. Girl says

    December 14, 2015 at 10:27 am

    Love it!

    Reply
    • Maida mohammed says

      July 17, 2016 at 10:51 am

      Masha Allah what a beautiful post amazing. When you have Allah in your daily life. That make prefect. Love that

      Reply
  2. Weronika Ozpolat says

    December 7, 2015 at 3:35 pm

    A really great article. I will be taking your advice and trying out these tips as I often have feelings of fear! I particularly like the one about being in the present. How simple! But I never even thought of it.

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 10, 2015 at 1:30 pm

      Let me know how it goes! Being present is huge because the only time we feel fear is when were stuck within our minds…

      Reply
  3. amina says

    December 6, 2015 at 8:22 pm

    Public speaking and presentation always does that, doesn’t it…? But the best solace is always found with Allah (swt).

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 10, 2015 at 1:32 pm

      I know.. tell me about it! I’ve heard that public speaking is the number one fear that people have. But absolutely true solace is always found with Allah x

      Reply
  4. Foz says

    December 6, 2015 at 11:39 am

    It is so easy to let others bad experiences make you fearful, and then others can really shatter your confidence.. but we must have faith in Allah (swt)

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 10, 2015 at 1:34 pm

      Definitely…. re-framing a bad experience and looking for the good (even though it might be hard to find) always helps too 🙂

      Reply
  5. umm asiya says

    December 6, 2015 at 4:00 am

    Great tips mashaa Allah, don’t ever let fear stop you, because you live with what it’s and that makes it even worse !

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 10, 2015 at 1:35 pm

      Absolutely!!!! That’s a great way to put it!

      Reply
  6. Ayesha B says

    December 4, 2015 at 1:07 pm

    Thank you for this!!!

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 10, 2015 at 1:35 pm

      Thank you for reading Ayesha ❤️‍

      Reply
  7. Abida says

    December 3, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    Love the positivity in this, sometimes we really can be our own worst critics and judges!

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 10, 2015 at 1:36 pm

      Yep… we really are own harshest critics!

      Reply
  8. Myda Tahir says

    December 3, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    Asalamoalikum Umme Hafsa,
    Great Reminder,the trust upon Allah is the greatest strength in both the worlds.
    Eat Healthy Stay Healthy 🙂

    Myda Tahir
    mydatahir2025@gmail.com
    http://ummeummah.blogspot.com/

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 3, 2015 at 5:09 pm

      Wa Aleikum Salaam Myda….absolutely! Trust in Allah is the most beautiful form of strength 🙂

      Reply
  9. Ummbilal says

    December 1, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    I need this kind of positivity delivered to my mail box regularly

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 1, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Awwww… you can always pop by here regularly inshaAllah 😉

      Reply
  10. Jameela says

    December 1, 2015 at 6:54 am

    Such a great article to boost our positivity.

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 1, 2015 at 7:08 pm

      JazakAllah khair Jameela 🙂

      Reply
  11. Fatima says

    November 30, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    A great post. Being near to God always helps. You have a lovely blog.

    Fatima – http://www.blogsbyfa.com

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      December 1, 2015 at 7:08 pm

      Thanks Fatima 🙂 Being near to Allah is everything 🙂

      Reply
  12. Kai says

    November 30, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    if we believe in the Qadr of Allah, there is nothing to be afraid of. After all, He knows what’s best and what’s not for us. 🙂 This is a very helpful post.

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      November 30, 2015 at 5:04 pm

      So happy it’s helpful x

      Reply
  13. Aaliyah says

    November 30, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    Some great tips and information. Trust in Allah (swt) is a very important thing to have. 🙂

    Aaliyah | http://www.thelifeofaaliyah.com

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      November 30, 2015 at 5:04 pm

      Without a doubt 🙂

      Reply
  14. hena says

    November 30, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    very inspiring..breaking free of fear makes you free to explore so many aspects of life…keep it up!

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      November 30, 2015 at 3:21 pm

      thank you :))) Absolutely breaking fear is the best thing to really live your wildest dreams.

      Reply
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