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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Lately, I’ve been suffering from comparisonitis. What that means is when your mind is constantly comparing yourself to everyone else around you. It sucks. So much. The saddest part is that so long as you compare yourself to others, you’ll never be enough. You’ll always feel down. You’ll never feel that you’ve ‘arrived’ to your dream life. And you’ll never appreciate your journey of your life.

Usually we compare ourselves, when our own life is not as great as we wish it to be. At least that was the case for me. One of my acquaintances is constantly hinting at how wealthy she is, how beautiful her home is, how much excess money she can spent etc. If this was once in while, it wouldn’t really bother me. But to hear this over and over again, it does become quite annoying. When I looked into it, I realised actually this acquaintance is not as wealthy as she makes it out to be (which is the case for a lot of people who brag about their money – put it this way: people who have money don’t talk about it). And this acquaintance has so many family problems, that she’s probably using money to distract herself and others from it. From my own life, I realised that the days that I bragged the most about myself were they days that I felt the most insecure about myself. But back to the topic of this article.

With┬ácomparisonitis it is not restricted to one person. Sure I felt intimidated around this person but soon enough I felt intimidated by anyone who did better than me. It wasn’t jealousy, it was more of ‘why could I not be like her?, why am I not as successful as her? Why is my project not as big as hers? Why am I not growing/developing as a person like she has? Why is my house not as nice as hers? Why am I not as pretty as her? Why is my bag not as expensive are hers?

Why, why, why???

Gosh it’s been eating me alive. When my thoughts get out of control, I mediate more and practise breathing exercises to keep me calm. But this time round, something special happened.

When I was meditating whilst listening to an audio, the speaker said something profound. She said:

“There is no where else you are suppose to be right now. You are exactly where you are meant to be. Everything is perfect. You are perfect”

Woah! At that moment I realised the size of my house is perfect for me. I don’t need a bigger house. I don’t need a fancier bag, the one I have is just what I need at this moment in time. Allah has given me obstacles in my business so that I can grow and expand my skills. I need these challenges so that I can grow.

Everything that I have in my life has been chosen by Allah for a reason. Whatever my circumstances are, it is exactly what I need at this moment in time. I don’t need to have what another person has (to be successful) because I already have everything I need.

Your circumstances are not an accident. The Master Craftsman has uniquely planned out your life. You are exactly where you need to be.

If your looking around and thinking ‘why have I not arrived to my dream life? Why does everyone’s life seem perfect?’

Guess what?

It’s not a race to the finish line.

The only time you’ll finally arrive is when you step into jannah. Until then your on a journey, a destination – honour the present moment and appreciate where you are right now. All these people that you look up to, you admire and follow, they all started where you are today. They started with 0 followers, with little money, being overweight or limited knowledge. But they didn’t stay there forever. If your circumstance are not ideal, then know that it has not come to stay, it has come to pass.

You are exactly where you need to be. You are perfect here and now. Whatever your circumstance be, it is exactly what you need.

If this has benefited you in any way please comment, share and like this article. I appreciate every comment or message that I receive from you. I’m forever grateful to you for taking out your precious time to comment and share your experiences. Let’s build an online community of thriving Muslim women ­čśÇ


6 Responses

  1. As for me,I have for long trained myself not to compare to others, I believe that we are all unique and different in our own way and I have to appreciate and respect that difference. Alhamdulillah for confirming my believe. Jazakallah khair

    1. We alll go through it! Trust me – you are not alone! Being aware of it, is the first step and often the hardest to admit to ourselves, so congratulate yourself on that – it’s takes a lot of courage. ?

  2. Sometimes all we need is a moment to realise that we are ok and other times it takes what seems like forever to realise this. I love the quote of the audio speaker! It’s so true! ­čÖé Great article!! x

    1. Oh yes, definitely!!! It takes a lot of courage and honesty to admit to even our own selves that we feel intimated/inferior/jealous etc. It takes time but the journey within – even though it feels so uncomfortable, is absolutely worth it ?

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